Chuck (Norris) Deezy

Charlie Davies once kicked a horse in the chin.  It's descendants are known today as giraffes.

Charlie Davies can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.  At night.

Charlie Davies can slam a revolving door.


Yes, thanks to his miraculous recovery, Charlie Davies is now the subject of jokes that were once exclusively dedicated to Chuck Norris.  "Miraculous" doesn't even do it justice; this was unbelievable in every sense of the word.  I still can't honestly believe that he is where he is today after what happened just five short months ago.  From near death to training with Sochaux.  Un-freakin-believable.

At this point, are there any questions about whether he'll  be in South Africa?  I mean, of course getting into shape and form will be one last hurdle, but after all he's done, do you really think that is going to stop him? We're talking about the same guy who counted to infinity.  Twice.

And he isn't alone; it seems like every key USMNT player who's suffered an injury has made an absolutely seamless recovery: Gooch, Dempsey, DeMerit, Ricardo Clark, etc.  Now, Benny Feilhaber and Stuart Holden look to be on that same smooth path to full health, with Feilhaber resuming training this week and Holden getting his cast removed today.  Whatever higher power you believe in, thank them some time, because we have been dodging bullet after bullet over the past year.

To this point, I've been very cautious about expressing any kind of optimism in terms of Davies, out of the always looming fear of jinxing it.  But hell, I just can't help it.  His stunningly rapid recovery not only has me believing that he will play in South Africa; it even has me entertaining those hopelessly hopeful beliefs that this is indeed a team of destiny.  The fantastic draw.  England's injury and scandal chaos.  Landon's stellar loan.  All of the recoveries.  Screw coincidence, something else is going on here.

I could take the pessimistic approach and worry that all of this will just build us up for a huge let down in a few months, and most days I do have those fears.  I'll probably be back to my rational, reserved self tomorrow.  But for today, at least, I'm going with the glass-filled-to-the-top approach. Davies will be training with his club next week, and I have faith that he will be training with the USMNT in May.


Charlie Davies is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Charlie Davies can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Charlie Davies can score a goal against England in a USMNT World Cup win.


That last one isn't a joke.